WE said WE would be better. WE would never become caricatures and outsized personalities that ooze braggadocio with each self-reported event WE attend. WE said WE’d be transparent, but not “transparent”. Our lies are broadcast unbeknownst to us, because WE’re fooling ourselves. So many of us have become strangers to our own entities, instead settling for becoming those WE have silently judged and deemed as inferior and savage.

WE said WE would never become That. WE would never share That situation, That dilemma, and That moment of WEakness. Never us, WE said. WE WEre staunch in our assertions, too. WE know, if presented with the same situation, That would never be us. Variables, be damned. That… THAT right there… could never be me, WE, or us.

WE said only God could judge any of us, right? Yet WE mock, ridicule, and shake our heads. WE know an entire relationship, financial situation, and mindset from our few glimpses, right? Their turbulence would have been our perfect calm, right? Better yet, their obstacles would have never presented themselves in the first place, right?

Of course, That would never happen in our perfect microcosms. Of course WE can talk about what WE would have done differently, because how could That ever be us? WE aren’t perfect- WE know that- but WE know certain things will never come hurdling our way…

…Until This happened. WE don’t know how WE lost our cool, our composure, or our head, but WE did and now WE need you to know how isolated this event was.

But This isn’t That; That was so much worse because WE deemed it as such. Please don’t lump This with That. WE didn’t mean to do This, to say This, to have This play out. Clearly, That is completely different, and how dare you for thinking otherwise. WE would never do That, because That isn’t human, nor is it just a terrible lapse of judgment. That is never okay; This is a mistake, and WE need to forgive and forget it all. That should never be okay and WE will never let them forget, ever. This is just a typo in an otherwise brilliantly written biography.

WE said WE would be better. WE would never become caricatures and outsized personalities that ooze braggadocio with each self-reported event WE attend. WE said WE’d be transparent, but not “transparent”. Our lies are broadcast unbeknownst to us, because WE’re fooling ourselves too. So many of us have become strangers to our own entities, instead settling for becoming those WE have silently judged and deemed as inferior. WE could never be That, nor could they ever be This.

A.J. Armstrong is the creator of The Fly Hobo and His World of Oddities